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[not_so_smooth]

Sam felt somewhat guilty about standing outside Dr. Magnus's office once again, looking for advice. He knew that she said she was always happy to help him if she had time, but sometimes Sam just felt like some annoying kid taking her attention away from more important things. She had never made him feel like that, quite the opposite, but Dr. Magnus was... Dr. Magnus and he couldn't help but feel a little intimidated.

Still, she had never served him wrong so far and he really respected her so when something really mattered, he came to her for advice about it. He was already feeling better about the situation with Cassie and his growing feelings for her. For all Aphrodite's... Aphroditeness he had come away from their talk feeling a bit better.

But when Sam needed advice on something big, it always came back to Dr. Magnus. Knocking on her office door, he cleared his throat.

"Dr. Magnus, it's Sam. If you've got a moment I'd like to talk to you about something."

Comments

[notsocommon]

"Absolutely. Now, what sort of something are we discussing?" Helen asked, wanting to be in the suitable frame of mind for it. If it were academic advice, for example, she wanted to approach it with something approaching seriousness. Personal advice might get a bit more levity, but not too much; if Sam felt the need to ask her if they could talk, it was something he must feel strongly about.

"I am, as always, all ears."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Uh, personal," Sam said, stepping into the office and shutting the door. It wasn't the sort of personal that was embarrassing or anything, it's not like he had a weird rash or anything. He just didn't want it to get around that he was bothered by this.

"It's, I don't know, it might be something that Will would be better to help me with. I don't know. It's just... I'm crazy about Cassie. Really crazy about her. I think I might l- luh- really have strong feelings about her. But I sort of- this girl back home, Mikaela, that I love..."

[notsocommon]

"Ah, this would normally be Will's arena, yes, but I hope perhaps I have lived long enough to give you advice on matters of the heart."

Helen paused for a moment, considering the dilemma. "I don't think people have one set soulmate for life. I don't think there's anything wrong with you caring deeply for Cassie and still loving Mikaela. Trust me, even after a hundred and thirty years and countless murders and other transgressions, I still love my ex-fiance."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

Sam thought it was pretty messed up that she still loved her ex-fiance, especially considering how nuts the guy was. Still, if Dr. Magnus still had a thing for the guy... there had to be something there worth caring about.

"I just feel bad that I never got the chance to be upfront with Mikaela about what's going on with Cassie."

[notsocommon]

"I'm certain if Mikaela shows and you explain, she'll understand. She'll be hurt, probably, but how could she hold this against you?"

Helen didn't know but she also knew that love didn't exactly make things easy.

"Maybe you could write it down in a letter? That way it feels like telling her?"

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Well she should," he grumbled, sinking his head down and running his fingers through his hair before looking up again.

"I mean, it was selfish of me, wasn't it? Basically I put my own happiness ahead of the chance that I would hurt her if she showed up."

[notsocommon]

"Sam, it's not...you're allowed to be happy," Helen said quietly, trying to decide how to frame her argument.

"You could be alone, yes, but would Mikaela want you alone and unhappy for however long you were stranded here?"

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Probably not," he admitted. "I mean, she kept trying to break up with me before college. Although I think that was because she was afraid I'd meet someone else there."

He'd thought she had been crazy, but maybe she had known something he hadn't.

"But isn't a girl that wants you to be happy, shouldn't she be worth waiting for?"

[notsocommon]

"Perhaps. Only you are able to make that decision, Sam, I cannot make it for you. I do know that being happy now isn't a crime against Mikaela. I've had past lovers too and while I loved them when they were alive, if they showed here, I wouldn't show one an obligation over another. Will is who I love now."

Sage advice, perhaps, but it was easier from the outside to admit such things.

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I wouldn't be with Cassie if she weren't the person I wanted to be with," he said. He wasn't with her just because Mikaela wasn't here.

"It's weird, a friend came to advice on pretty much this same thing the other day, and it was easy to give when it wasn't me in this situation."

[notsocommon]

“Advice is always easier to give when one stands outside the forest. It’s when one is among the trees that everything gets all muddied up,” Helen said sagely. “Just as I am able to easily give you advice but if it were the same dilemma presented to me with James or John or any number of my ex lovers, I would be just as confused as to how to handle it.”

Possibly not, with John, but John had always been able to get under her skin even when Helen hadn’t wanted him to.

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Plus, advice just sounds better when coming from a proper British accent," Sam said. Or maybe he just really liked her accent. Either way, it sounded very good.

"I think Zell took my advice just because he's the one person on the island who is more of a spaz than I am."

[notsocommon]

"I wouldn't so far as to refer to you as a spaz," Helen said gently. "You're actually quite mature for a boy of your age, Sam, and I should say so more often."

In so many ways, he reminded her of Will - the good ways, though, and she was eager to see him grow up and do good things.

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to say it," Sam said with a shrug, even as he blushed a bit at the compliment.

"I mean, you prove it to me all the time by how much faith you put in me and how much you help me. I know you wouldn't invest to much time in me if you didn't believe in me."

[notsocommon]

"And I keep wanting to prove that to you," Helen reminded him. "Because I think intelligence and hard work should be rewarded."

Helen tucked her hair back behind her ear. "How is school going, by the way?"

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

Sam wanted to do more to make her proud, he wanted to do exceptional things. He'd discovered an alien race and saved the world twice. But he still didn't want his high school years to be where he peaked.

"Good, I've got three classes with Dr. Langowski. I'm her only student in Speed Reading, actually. But that class is helping me in the others a lot."

[notsocommon]

"Most likely, yes. I spent many a sleepless night when I was at Oxford," Helen said, grinning. "We had to read by lamplight, then, or candlelight. It was quite different than the advantages we have now, I assure you. Of course, you're not going to replace your favorite teacher with Dr. Langowski, are you? I would be so cross."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"You know that you're the only one for me, Dr. Magnus," Sam said, giving her a grin. He doubted that she would really be all that bothered. Not that anyone could ever replace her, but everyone that Sam knew that knew Dr. Magnus adored her. He was pretty sure she could handle it if some kid she was helping suddenly liked another professor more than her.

But, he doubted that would ever happen.

"I mean, unless Dr. Langowski is going to start taking up topless sunbathing."

[notsocommon]

"Cheeky monkey. You'd be whipped for that back in my day," Helen said, shaking her head a little.

"I do appreciate the praise, though. Believe it or not, I get a bit insecure sometimes. Especially here on the island - I've done extraordinary things, yes, but I'm no superhero."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Had they even invented the whip yet in your day?" Sam teased, grinning more. She had really been asking for it with the 'in my day comment' so he didn't feel too bad making it.

"And I'd think you were amazing even if you hadn't done extraordinary things," he said with a shrug. "It's not the things that you do that make you an extraordinary person, Dr. Magnus. It's just who you are. How you help people and care about them, how you joke, how hard you work..."

[notsocommon]

"Will says I make terrible jokes. I'm so glad there's at least one person on the island who has some sense about him," Helen said, smirking a little.

Still, it touched her that he thought so highly of her. "Well, you know, anyone has the potential to be extraordinary, so long as they have friends to help foster it."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"It was a good joke," he said, smiling back at her.

"And you're good at that, aren't you? Fostering people, I mean. It seems like you're really good at that and just... giving people what they need to succeed."

[notsocommon]

"I won't be here forever, Sam. The future needs bright and brilliant leaders just as the present does and if that can be my legacy, I want it to be. I want to know that when I'm gone, I've left the world in capable hands. It's much more important now, considering I'm no longer immortal."

Helen smiled a bit. "That's a bit morbid, though, and it won't happen for a while yet."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"You're what, like thirty though in body right now?" Sam said. He knew she was much, much older but Sam had seen her in a bikini and she had looked damn good.

"But I think there's going to be more than just that as a legacy. I mean, you and Will are super serious, right? And the island seems, uh, seems like a pretty good place to raise kids. And there's lots of them..."

[notsocommon]

"First off, I'm closer to forty than thirty, but I thank you for your flattery. Second, I suspect Will might die of a heart attack if I suggested adding to the island's population just yet. I'm not even married."

She pressed her lips together, hating how that sounded. "Not that a couple has to be married to raise a child, they most certainly do not. I would just prefer to be married if I did, or at least have a steady partner."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Oh, well, I hope it happens before too long," Sam said, realizing that he might have stepped into a sort of sensitive subject.

"It just seems like you, um, like you really like helping others. Especially mentoring people. I don't want to say it's mothering because that seems, sort of negative. But it's mothering. In a good way."

[notsocommon]

"I was a mother, once," Helen agreed.

"I had a daughter named Ashley. She'd be just a bit older than you now, actually, were she still alive. Ashley was my entire world for the time she was with me and while I could hardly regret those years I did have with her, hers has always been the hardest loss. I could endure anything but I couldn't bear to lose a child again. Not like how I lost Ashley."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Oh," Sam said, not sure if he should ask about Ashley further or just let it go. On one hand, she might like to have other people know about her. On the other, it could be really painful. Sam really, really sucked at this stuff.

"This place though, it seems a really great place to raise kids. I mean, yeah it's dangerous at times, but I think a lot less dangerous than most places. Plus all the people from all the different cultures and stuff here."

[notsocommon]

"I don't think what killed her would find her here, no. I know people who are dead can come here," Helen said, pressing her lips together slightly. "And I pray every day that Ashley comes here to the island so that I can see her again or, at least, so I'll know she's happy."

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

Sam felt like he had opened up a very sore spot with Dr. Magnus without meaning to. He could only imagine how hard it would be to deal with the hope that someone you had lost might show up.

"I hope she comes here too. I'd like to meet her. I mean, hey, maybe kids that you have in the future and don't even know about will show up."

[notsocommon]

Helen arched a brow. "I'm not sure who'd be fathering said children. You know that Will and I aren't together at home, yes?"

At least not from the point she was from. Maybe in the future...

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Didn't you just spend a good amount of time convincing me that sort of doesn't matter here if you really love the person?" Sam asked, giving her a look. Once again, it was a lot easier to make a judgement on the situation when he wasn't involved.

[notsocommon]

"Well, no, I just...don't have any prospects back home, Sam. I'm quite busy with my work. I've no time to date."

It seemed silly admitting it but if she couldn't trust Sam, who could she trust?

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"So you're too busy to have kids back home," he said, somewhat slowly as he tried to make sense of what she was saying.

"And you have the time and leisure to have kids here. But you won't. Because... you're too busy back home. Have I got that right?"

[notsocommon]

"It's a little more complicated than that, Sam. Will's not ready to have children. So unless I go have them fathered by someone else, I'm to be childless for the moment," Helen said, unsure whether or frown or laugh. She tried for both and ended up just plain laughing.

[not-so-smooth.livejournal.com]

"Right, so finding a baby-daddy probably isn't the way to go," he said, rubbing his jaw thoughtfully as he considered her situation.

"But seriously, what's he waiting for. He's old. He has a job. He's got a wife. Maybe I should have a talk with Will."